Phil 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Hair cut... and cake.

I can put this one on here because Aaron NEVER looks at my blog....
This is the cake I made him for his surprise party tonight. :-D
He's loved "Joe Cool" for as long as I can remember.... I made all the frostings with butter and cream and it's YUMMY...but they didn't work too well for decorating. :-P

Then haircut... I got 13 inches off...

Before:

And After:

(this one is a stupid pic of me, but a good one of the cut...)

And that's all for now...I have a lot to do. ttyl!
~Joanna

http://lowcaloriedates.blogspot.com/

It's a wonderful life.

And I'm running on a happyness high. (insert massive grin that is better than the typical colon/dash/capital 'D')

March tends to do that to me... it's a perpetual party every year. I LOVE it!! Spring is coming, and despite rain (and this week, more and more rain) and clouds the grass is turning green and it's getting warm. Sandals and tee shirts are a must for every day, and an occasional jog through the wet warmth is absolutely delightful.

And there's the birthday factor. Rachel first, then Aaron, Tyana, Grandad (which we remembered even though he's celebrating every moment in the presence of his Precious Lord) then Me, then Jared. (which, btw, his is today, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARED!!) So we eat a LOT of sugar, play a LOT of games, get a LOT of phone calls... and my dresser gets to be redecorated with "Wish" and "Blessings" and "We Love You" all on beautiful cards. I LOVE cards. I always leave them on my dresser forever after my birthday. They make me happy. (insert another grin... a little bigger than the last. WHOA, not that big, you're making my face hurt)

Gentle Savior, lead me on.
Let Your Spirit light the way.
Gentle Savior, lead me on.
Hold me close and keep me safe.
Lead me on, Gentle Savior

And Easter. It's not always in March, but I love it when it is. Good Friday has never been a sober event in my mind...it's way too victorious. I can't get Christ's death and resurrection separated in my mind to the point that I can spend more than a few minutes dwelling on His death... the story has a happy ending...let's get to it!! heee. My Jesus is a beautiful Lord, and He is a victorious Lord, and He conquered death, and He is the same yesterday, today, and forever!!

It's also an anniversary. I was baptized on Easter Sunday in 1998. It was an April Easter, but in my eight year old mind the significance was entirely in the fact that it was Easter, and that the water in the Niangua River was *REALLY* cold, and I have no idea what the date was. hehe. It's written down somewhere....

Funny how time changes things...that Easter so long ago... If I'm remembering right than there's only one person outside of my family that attended my baptism that our family is still closely associated with. We had communion there, by the river, and we all sang and prayed...and froze...

Anywho, I've gotta run. Thanks for tuning in. :-D

God bless!

~Joanna Renae


Look at me standing
Here on my own again
Up straight in the sunshine

No need to laugh and cry
It's a wonderful, wonderful life
No need to run and hide
It's a wonderful, wonderful life

Come Unto Me

Come unto Me,
Bring Me all of your burdens,
Show Me your wounds and I'll soothe them,
Come, Come unto Me,
Come, oh come!
Drink now of my goodness and rest your soul,
Oh come unto Me!

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈
So, somehow, within thirty minutes of publishing my last entry our almost-healthy household managed to be plunged into the depths of a stomach flu. Within 6 hours of publishing I was unable to stand up straight and running a fever...So I was slept 'till 5:30 the next evening. It was only a 14 hour bug...thank the Lord. Everybody is well again. Except maybe Jonnah. She's been laying around all morning with a headache, but is otherwise fine.

Missed Wednesday night church, which was rough. I HATE missing church. I'd rather go sit in the basement by my lonesome and listen in then stay home. It drives me nuts to sit here at the house when I know that everyone is there...

BUT, tomorrow is Sunday. Sunday's are good. I'm well enough that I AM going to church. (<---period) <><><><><><><><><><><><>

Pinky and The Brain. The most ridiculous, pointless, insane show I have ever watched.

The kids love it.

Basic overview: two lab mice that have been genetically altered, resulting in one having an over sized head and an inordinate desire for world domination and the other is utterly insane. (insert jingle: Pinky and the Brain, they're Pinky and The Brain, one is a genius, the other is insane, they're Pinky, they're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain....NARF!)

We got a dvd of 22 episodes this week. There are a few memorable lines, such as The Brain's attempt at trash-talk with an umpire of the New Hampshire Pinapples that ends with the Brian, in all is 3 inch, enormously crainiumed glory saying in his dry monotone: "As a token of my disrespect I shall kick some soil upon your footwear." then proceeding to kick a couple teaspoons of dirt onto the toe of the cleat that is 10 times his size..

The said shoe kicked him across the stadium.

Another would be the animal rights activists who broke into the lab to "rescue" the animals, then "released" them from 500 ft above the Amazon jungles with no parachutes, no padding, no nothing..just dropped them out of the plane. One zealot says "Can mice fly?" and the other answers with "sure! Just like monkeys!"

And so the insanity continues...


It's amazing what kids will allow to absorb their attention.

--------------------------------------

If a man loses everything he owns
has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning of a new and brighter birth?
No life can escape being blown about
by the winds of change and chance
and though you never know all the steps
you must learn to join the dance...

And I could lose every dream
I dreamt that I could carry with me,
But I will reach the other side...

Well, the night is cold and dark
But somewhere the sun is shining
And I'll feel it shine on me
I'll keep on tryin', I'll keep on tryin'
I will get there (I will get there)
I will get there somehow
Cross that river (Cross that river)
Nothing's stoppin' me now
I will get through the night
And make it through to the other side...


***********

I'm out of talk.

Goodbye.

~Joanna

Well, if passion can lead to prayer
Maybe prayer can give us faith
And if faith is all we've got
Then maybe faith is all we need
And may the angel of His presence keep your heart
And when your prayers give flight to your dreams
May the only scars you see on their wings
Be the wounds of love

ahem.

I'm really not very good at it.

Life, that is.

In fact, I'm really rather bad at it.

But that's okay, because He loves me anyway, and it's His life, and if He wants good from it He can make good from it. So there.

************

I can't seem to get everything done that I need to get done on any given day. And it's not like I just don't have time, 'cause I look back on my day and see all the time I wasted, but it didn't feel like I was wasting at the time... So nothing gets done and I get frustrated and start over the next day.

And the next.

And the next.

And all I can do is keep starting over.

*sigh*

My yesterdays don't have to ruin my todays, and my thens don't have to shape my nows... but somehow they do. To get free of what was and live in the Christ that is... THEN we could accomplish things. THEN we could be a continual outpouring of love. THEN we could make a difference, and do something that will last...

But we have to make then a now.

Like...now.


WHOA. Talking myself in circles here. Shutting up.

<><><><><><><><><>

Tonight Mom and Dad took Micah and I out to eat as a reward for memorizing the book of Jude. It's tradition. First reward dinner is usually for the Sermon on the Mount. I got that when I was about 11. Then comes either the book of James or Romans 6-8. I did James. Got that one when I was 14. Then I did a bunch of random stuff. Some Psalms, Philipians (church project so no reward dinner) etc. Then started 1st John last March and ended up switching to Jude. I did Jude in November, and Micah finished it in February. Since it was so small it didn't hardly count, so we just stayed in Marshfield and got Mexican at a little joint that reminds me of Cielito Lindo's in Springfield. It was fun. The waiters were a riot. All of them jabbering away in their half-english half spanish, and trying to be suave... hehe. Cracked me up. I didn't laugh out loud though. I was tempted when a couple came in and the waiter put on a deep voice and called the girl "Senorita". . . which wouldn't have been funny if her dude hadn't looked at him like he'd called her a dirty name.

Hickville. Marshfield is the home of the rednecks... bwahaha. I almost hate it.

But not quite.

See, there's this beautiful little red-brick church that lives here...redeems the whole town by it's presence...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm supposed to go to bed now. I have a lot I need to get done tomorrow. (see, here we go again) And children's choir is starting up again tomorrow evening.
Oh hey! That means we get to have church... Yay! :-) Now just to convince Jason that we need choir practice on Wednesdays too...


♥♪♫♪♥♥♪♫♪♥♥♪♫♪♥♥♪♫♪♥

Good night dear people. Rest in Him. Trust Him.
He makes all things beautiful...in His time.

~Joanna


The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Love or glorify?

The answer seems so very simple: Glorify through loving.

Yet it's somehow a massive question with so many twists and turns that when you overhear parts of one conversation about it, sit in on another, and read the perspectives of two very well known (and not entirely contradicting) authors, then it becomes rather confusing.

You know what? I really don't care what technical definition is the most correctly stated... I know that I've been instructed by the word of God to love Him, thank Him, praise Him, and delight in Him. I know that if I obey Him He will use me to His glory... So I'm gonna love Him, thank Him, praise Him, delight in Him, and
pray that somehow my life brings Him glory, 'cause that's the best I can give...

**************

I love reading Google.com/News. It's waaay better than a newspaper. I can brows a hundred headlines in a second, and I generally read about .3 full articles...

This weekend the Southern Baptist convention declared that they have a "Biblical duty to fight against global warming."

I didn't read that article.

I did read the one about the sheriff in CA who crossed the center line and plowed into a group of four cyclists on a road where thousands of people ride every weekend...he killed two of them.

I feel worse for the officer than the dead cyclists. Nothing like making stupid mistakes and watching people suffer because of them. I'd honestly rather wreck and paralyze myself for life than kill someone else...

It's bad enough to disappoint parents, and crush little kids with unfulfilled expectations, and break hearts by unintentionally misleading them...

Then there was the train in Argentina that smashed a double-decker bus at a rail crossing. 17 people died. 65 injured. In that case the driver of the bus ignored warnings and signs and tried to cross ahead of the train. The bus was cut entirely in half.

I'd rather be the train driver than the bus driver...

Mistakes happen. Some cost more than others...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The family is playing "Fact Or Crap." I missed out on the start 'cause I was in the basement (treadmill decided that it wouldn't go more than 14 min tonight, but I was okay with that. My neck hurt.) So I'm sitting out for tonight. They're having a blast.

So'm I.

Jen Lopez is such a germ-freak that no one is allowed to visit her babies' sterilized nursery without surgical masks and having scrubbed with alcohol based sanitizer. I guess if all my friends were walking around with filthy diseases eating them inside out then I wouldn't want them touching my babies either...

Thank God for Christian friends and family...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I know me well enough to know
whatever this life may show
that the only thing
that's good in me is Jesus.

*********************

Josh and Tyana were here this evening. Josh brought his viola and we played as a quartet for over an hour. It was a blast. Did some wild and deliciously discordant and chaotic Tchaikovsky. oooooh yes.

After the music we all sat around and talked until Josh said "Let's go Babe."
Then we sat around and talked more. Then he said "We need to go now." Then we stood around and talked...

I love them.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The game is packed away, it's late, and I have work to do tomorrow.

Good night.

~Joanna

Long ago and far away
In a land of fairy tales
I met you and was swept away
On a silver sea with dreams for sails.
Night was day
And day seemed right
Everything made sense
Saw it all in a brand new light
But now it's love that's in past tense.
~Jason's original song idea.. long ago.

Maybe too much music...

A week ago I was deprived. No music anywhere, unless I put in a cd. iPod was dead, and wireless internet wasn't working, so internet radio wasn't working... and Cd's are VERY underused around here, because there's so much perpetual noise that Mom can't generally take music on top of it all. It's understandable... there are 15 of us living in 2200 sq ft, and 8 of us are musicians, and all of us like to sing (good or bad or ugly, doesn't matter) and we none of us move nor speak like mice...

So yeah. It's usually pretty loud.

Now I'm thinking I might be a little overdosed. Two shuffles means that I can rotate and use Becca's here at the house and carry mine with me, and NEVER have to be without one.


Since last Friday I don't think I've been more than 3 hours without music, unless it was to sleep. That's scary. I don't FEEL like I've had too much, but thinking about it makes me wonder...

It's also made me reevaluate how much useless music I have. I mean, entertainment is good and all, but when you've got background music, and half of it is meaningless or in a foreign language then what's the point? It kinda runs your life... living to feel good, living for love, living for Christ...it's all going in, but only one is right...

I've been listening to a LOT more GLAD and the 'Complete In Thee' album, and just turning it off a lot. I'm remaking my iTunes list (not by choice, but because the computer with all my music on it got the hard drive replaced without back-up cd's being made) and I've got a ton more good (truly good, as in pure, lovely, encouraging, Christ centered, etc) music in this one than the last.

Not that I'm throwing out Amici and Groban. lol. Just that I'm weighing down the other side of the scale a little more. :-D
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The treadmill outran me tonight. It decided it had had a good day...

Stupid thing.

<><><><><><><><>

There's a devotional I get in my email every day... I don't generally care for it, but today's was sweet:

"My mother was an amazing woman who somehow managed to raise three children who never thought of themselves as deprived. Many happy times and scrumptious meals were enjoyed around our old, scratched, worn and downright ugly dining room table. That dilapidated table made the entire room ugly -- until the day Mama bought the blue tablecloth. As she spread her treasure across that shabby table, an amazing thing happened. Not only did the table look beautiful, the whole room looked better!
"Love is like that, its mere presence transforms the ugliness of life into a beautiful trophy of grace. Love covers the scars of sin. Love heals wounds and eases the pain of the past. We all need to be loved and we all need to love.
"Friend, across your defeats spread the hope of a tiny baby lying in a manger! Across your pain, spread the unconditional love poured out on a cruel cross! Across your doubts and fears, spread the promise of an empty tomb! The love of God covers all and changes everything."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bears are playing Evansville in the Valley Tournament tonight. At the moment we're winning....

********************************

I have to go practice...Federation is day after tomorrow, and tomorrow I'm gonna be in town ALL day. SO, I guess I should quit.

God bless...

and keep...

and carry...

and strengthen...

~Joanna


Here in your room
Where nobody can see
Voices are loud
But seldom clear
But beneath the confusion
That's running so deep
There is a promise you must hear
The love that seems so far away
Is standing very near

I'm soooo not in the mood to write....

I have to go down to the basement and run on the treadmill... I'm procrastinating against such a dastardly concept by writing here.

That means you're likely to not be entertained.


I'm fried. Exhausted. Why? I don't know. I spent the day pretty discouraged and short tempered, and fighting a massive headache. A half-hour ago I was so low that I was breaking through into the molten center of the planet.

Since then I've read today's "Streams In The Desert" entry, and a couple of very sweet blogs, and Psalms 73 (probably my all time favorite verse is 73:26) and Elizabeth Elliot's daily devotional. Elizabeth Elliot was sweet and encouraging, as she always is, and Streams in the Desert had a precious reminder:

"In the still air the music lies unheard;
In the rough marble beauty hides unseen;
To make the music and the beauty needs
The master's touch, the sculptor's chisel keen.

"Great Master, touch us with Thy skillful hands;
Let not the music that is in us die!
Great Sculptor, hew and polish us; nor let,
Hidden and lost, thy form within us lie!"

By the way, both devotionals are in the links in my sidebar... Those, combined with Oswald Chambers "My Utmost For His Highest" are my regular reading. They have been since the start of the year, and I thank God for all three. I've never been into reading "Christian" literature. I figured my Bible and my church were enough, and half the time I didn't understand anything those people were saying.
Mom has an old copy of Streams in the Desert that she's read over and over again. I kinda swiped it after picking it up countless times and ALWAYS finding something precious in what I read. Then she started reading the Elizabeth Elliot blog... I love Elizabeth. I stole the link from her and made it a habit. Whichever of us gets to it first in the busy mornings generally reads half of the entry out loud to the other. It's pretty delightful.

And I've already talked about "My Utmost For His Highest" before. I still think he can be totally wonky, but for the most part, I love it more every day.

--------

The other day I found a comment I left on an old blog. I was praising the author for keeping their entry concise, packed with information and interesting... and me wishing I could do the same. That was almost two years ago. I'm still wishing.


Something interesting:

1) The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you’re 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).

2) The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. So, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

And now, I'm off to put laundry away and run. Or jog. We'll see.

I pray the Lord will bless you with His presence every day,
I pray He will protect you every step along the way,
Help you love what's right and lead you far away from wrong,
I pray that you will follow Him your whole life long.

~Joanna Renae

But the meadowlark said no,
For the old king loved her so,
She couldn't bear to wound his pride.
So the sun god flew away and when the king came down that day,
He found his meadowlark had died.
Every time I heard that part I cried.


The above was written at 8:00ish... It's 11 now. I published, then sat around...then said something about running and Mom said "You haven't practiced today." Darn. I have Federation on Saturday and neither of my songs are quite memorized... So I practiced. and practiced. Poor Dad... He's usually at the office or working somewhere when I practice because I usually do it in the afternoon. I think Hanon about drove him wild.
10:40 Mom said "You need to head to bed soon." I had no clue what time it was...so bolted to my room, changed my clothes and ran downstairs... I was planning a 25 minute jog for tonight.
BUT, the treadmill has decided that at 8 years old it has the right to decide how long it will operate. 14 minutes last time I worked out, 13 tonight... It's REALLY maddening. Funny how things start thinking they know better than their masters. Like, maybe, kids for instance.

Like, maybe, me for instance.

*cringe*

With that happy thought, I'm going to try to sleep.
Ha.

Farò quello che mi chiederai
Andrò sempre dovunque tu andrai
Darò tutto l'amore che ho per te

oh happy day!!

Beautiful days are so fun...

Today was so beautiful.

The weather was so wonderful that it hurt. I know it's only pretending to be spring, but it's a lovely break from the cold, so I pretended with it, and went to choir in the springiest outfit I could muster without digging into the clothes boxes...

Choir is fun. Strike that. Choir is one of the highlights of my life. People I love singing and laughing together for a solid hour, then visiting and (quite consistently) coffee after. I got teased for calling tonights coffee strong, but it was SUCH an improvement over the last stuff I had there...and we're out of the hazelnut beans, so I had to grind forever to get any kind of potency to the pot... and it was yummy.

I've been making iced coffees around here a LOT. If you do enough chilled milk and make sure the coffee is cooled then you don't have to water it down with too much ice...it's almost as good as a iced diet pepsi max....but not quite.

And we got to sing "All the way my Savior leads me." It's only recently become a favorite, and it's growing more and more dear with each time I hear/sing it. It's absolutely precious.

When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of day
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way;
This my song through endless ages:
Jesus led me all the way.

And Dad, preaching about how the Lord will not despise our offerings when we do what we can... Tyana and I were talking about a song that the Marshall Family sings: "She Hath Done What She Could." It's been one of my favorites since the first time I heard it. I can't find the lyrics anywhere, and I don't know where the cd is, but I remember some:

She hath done what she could
and the work, it is good.
Precious oils, pure and sweet,
She hath poured at His feet.
For His death she prepares,
In His sorrow, she shares,
She hath done, she hath done
What she could.


Then this song is SO stuck in my head, and all the kids and I have been singing it all afternoon and evening. It's SO cute...



And I really haven't anything serious to say. I just had a great day, and wanted to tell people. :-D
So...

Goodnight.

:-)

~Joanna

When somebody loved me,
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together lives within my heart
And when she was sad,
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy,
So was I
When she loved me

Born to Die

Leap Day. An "extra" day. ha. Right. It should totally become a national holiday and get an "s" added to the beginning of its title.

In anycase, it was an orchestra day. Get up early, get ready to go, try to find time to eat something because it's gonna be forever until you have a chance to eat anything substantial again, leave...

If you're very very lucky then the ride into town includes a stop for something so full of caffeine that it tastes like it should be in a vial in a lab somewhere.

If very lucky you have no caffeine, but some good earbuds and rousing music to wake you up.

If only lucky, you sleep.

If unlucky, you crash and die.

If very unlucky, you arrive with no dose of caffeine and no music.

This morning I was very unlucky.

Rehearsal times were doubled for all the orchestras and lengthened for the choirs as much as the directors thought their voices could handle. Why? 'Cause Federation is a week from today, and several of the classes are playing songs that, until this afternoon, they hadn't even played start-to-finish as a group. Ice storms are not good for performance seasons.

There was no escape.

It was a *very* long day.

BUT, it was made a very good day by a precious 45 minutes this afternoon where the dearest 17 year old girl on this planet showed up to keep me company, laugh at the insanities of...well...unnamed peoples, sing and play, and lend me her iPod and it's charger... whoa. Happiness! I love her. We had a wonderful, though short, time. Seems that, sadly, that's the pattern of our visits.

I was just reading back in my old LiveSpace and found this post fro February of last year, and thought it couldn't hurt to say it again: (yes, edited...fixed a lot of misspellings and incoherent thoughts...)

"People are losing each other. Mommies are losing children. Sisters and brothers are losing each other. Husbands are losing wives. Babies are losing Mommies. Babies are losing Daddies. Friends are losing friends.

The really wretched thing is how many people lose each other due to something other than death.

Our neighbors are moving out. They are a sweet old couple that love the Lord with all their hearts. Their kids want them closer, so they talked them into moving to Tulsa. Their moving prompted a visit while they were cleaning out their garage. While I was talking to Jo she told about the people across from her;
They had a handicapped child that the bus would come for day after day, week after week. They had two darling little girls, and two adopted boys, and a son of their own. five kids, two women, one man in and out. It was a mess. About three months ago they had a shed explode in their back yard, and the next day the house was empty. We never knew what had happened, but assumed it was meth.
Jo told me that all of the adults are in jail, and the five kids have been put into foster care. We were right. It was meth.
She told me that months ago she went to pray for the sick boy. He wasn't handicapped from birth, it was a deterioration problem in his legs. She said that she talked about Jesus with him for a while, then prayed, and when she looked up he was staring at her with tears running down his face, and he just whispered; "Please do that again." So she prayed again, then she had to leave. It broke her heart to leave him there.
He will probably never see his mommy again.
He will probably never want to.

Keep holding on.

Don't let people go because of differences. Don't let people go because you don't "click." Don't let people go because they require sacrifice. Don't let people go because the world and life are dragging you away from them.

Keep holding on.

Hold onto Christ, and He will hold your friends. He will hold your family, He will hold your loved ones. In your strength you can't keep them. His strength can.
Hold fast. He is faithful. "

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

And I guess that's enough for tonight...

Keep holding on.

~Joanna


So it's off where the days won't bind me.
I know I leave wounds behind me,
But I won't let tomorrow find me
Back this way.
Before my past once again can blind me,
Fly away.

O Perfect Redemption!

To God be the glory, great things He hath done,

So loved He the world that He gave us His Son,
Who yielded His life an atonement for sin,
And opened the life gate that all may go in.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, let the earth hear His voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, let the people rejoice!
Oh, come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
And give Him the glory, great things He hath done.

Oh, perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,
To every believer the promise of God;
The vilest offender who truely believes,
That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, let the earth hear His voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, let the people rejoice!
Oh, come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
And give Him the glory, great things He hath done.

Great things He hath taught us, great things He hath done,
And great our rejoicing through Jesus the Son;
But purer, and higher, and greater will be
Our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see. ~Fanny Crosby

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well now. I'm getting interrupted. I can't write now, so I'll just let you enjoy the words written by a blind old woman who never saw a rose, never saw a smiling baby, never say the sky when the sun comes through after a rain storm...she only saw her Jesus, and that was enough...

Love you all!

~Joanna

And when you say you love me
that's all you have to say
I'll always feel this way...

Joshua

Used to talk about being a "fool for Christ." He would say that every time we started to do something that we knew to be stupid we should stop and purpose to redirect that energy and willingness to be seen as idiots into doing something for Christ.

I never really got it because I didn't think it made you look like an idiot to live like a Christian.

I was very young.

I'm still very young.

The unyounger that I get though, the more I realize how very idiotic and "foolish" it is to live for Christ. To dress differently, talk differently, believe differently, behave differently....all the things to say "no" too, and all the "oppourtunities" to reject. In the worlds' eyes we're idiots. I'm an "idiot" because I didn't take advantage of the possibility of piano lessons last spring. Josh and Tyana were "idiots" for maintaining a pure relationship through their courtship. Mom and Dad are "idiots" for having so many children without enough income to guarantee being able to support them. I'm an "idiot" for not listening to the same music as the kids I meet. Dad was an "idiot" to go into full-time ministry.

See what I mean? Each and every act, done with complete faith and trust in the fact that it WAS (and is) God's will, and each panning out into richer, deeper, more precious blessings and more joyful fulfillment...yet for some reason, seen only as idiotic. Or Foolish. Whichever word you choose.

A Fool For Christ. I've also heard the same idea represented as "HC4C" and "Fruitcake for Jesus." People mean to be, and try to be... but can any one of us get ourselves out of the picture to truly be? Back to an abandonment to Christ. Back to forgetting self, forgetting past, forgetting the world, and being all NOW, all HIS, and all HOLY.

************
Sunday while leading worship he was talking about having a legitimate, righteous fear of partaking in communion with a conscience that was not clear before God. He took that and turned it into a legitimate, righteous fear of having nothing to say when called upon to testify of Christ's work in your life.

Jason took that and told one of my favorite views of testimony time ever: That of the gauntlet being cast down, and the challenge placed, and Christians being those called upon to accept the challenge and defend the name of the Lord. If we have chosen to allow the Lord to work then surely we have something to say, for He is altogether lovely, altogether holy, and altogether wonderful. There must be something to be said in His defense. Something to be offered for the encouragement and uplifting of others.

The consecrated cross I’ll bear
Till death shall set me free;
And then go home my crown to wear,
For there’s a crown for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Mom has taken Samuel to the Dr, and I'm babysitting.

****************************

Okay, so Mom TOOK Samuel to the Dr and now she's back and I'm not babysitting anymore. Samuel has a massive ear infection that he's been on antibiotics for for about 6 weeks, and it still isn't better. Not even cool. Poor kiddo. New antibiotics were prescribed today, and so he gets a new round of treatment. Yay. He's always had trouble with his ears. He's ruptured his eardrum more than once, and had infection after infection. If you think of it, I'm sure none of us would mind a little bit of extra prayer for him.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I was just reading Sara's blog, (which, btw, is one of my favorites) and she had the neatest thing posted. It's probably gonna go 'round the world on Christian blogs because it's moderately irresistible. Check this out:

Did you know…

1. Psalm 118 is the middle chapter of the entire Bible?
2. Before Psalm 118, Psalm 117 is the shortest chapter in the Bible?
3. After Psalm 118, Psalm 119 is the longest chapter in the Bible?
4. That there are 594 chapters each before and following Psalm 118?
5. That if you add up all the chapters except Psalm 118, you get a total of 1188 chapters?
6. And incidentally, 1188 or Psalm 118 verse 8 also happens to be the middle verse of the entire Bible?

The central verse should have a fairly important message don’t you think?

“It is better to trust in the Lord than to put

Confidence in man."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I keep writing and erasing, and writing and erasing. If this were real paper I'd have filled a wastebasket with the wadded up papers. I guess I'm gonna give up.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts... And walk worthy of the Lord...and Give thanks to the Father.

~Jo, Jolie, Nani, JoNan, Joanna

And why is a man is strong as this
Being betrayed by a good friend's kiss
Could it be because this man missed
The heaven in His eyes
And this is why a man as holy as He
Had to die alone on Calvary
Cause it was the only way we could ever see
The heaven in His eyes

I wanted to blog earlier...

But about the time I started was about the time that we had to leave, so I gave up on the idea.

SO, now I'm blogging, while uploading wedding snapshots onto Picasa and listening to Pandora and browsing Facebook....and wincing at the little girls "music" that they are singing... "Calvary's Blood" sung entirely in bloodcurdling falsetto. Yippeeee.

And just for fun, I thought you might be interested in seeing what Aaron and I look like when we're watching nuclear explosions on YouTube at midnight...




So, Yeah...that pretty much it. Sorry if you were expecting something dramatic...

...

Today was...weird. It felt like a Saturday, which made it mildly depressing because every time I corrected myself I had to remember that there was another day until Sunday... *sigh* It seems like an eternity since last Sunday. Mostly, I guess, because last Sunday was such a ... well ... uncool Sunday. I was really discouraged, and tired, and nothing worked out right, and it didn't feel like Sunday at all.

SO, in case you didn't notice, I'm *REALLY* wanting it to be Sunday again. :-) We actually get to have normal choir!!! YAY!! All this "skip 2nd Sunday" and "between putluck and nursing hom" bunk really gets on my nerves. For goodness sake, can't we just SING??


Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak


""""""""""""""""""""""

I'm officially a success with Ethan. I've succeeded in making him cry, making him cross-eyed, making him cry more, and...making him cry. heeee.

But I love him. :-) He's a super darling baby, and until he got a stuffy nose, was a super un-fussy baby. Now he's a super darling baby that fusses more than he used to and is more attached to his Mommy... which means I'm a bigger success than EVER!! lol.

Thankfully, I have a lot of years to win his little heart. Nothing like a new baby to make you want to be a better sister...and wish you had been better when your other siblings were littler. And again, thankfully, God is good enough to forgive our mistakes and let us carry on without living steeped in regret.

To quote Oswald Chambers: "Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ, and go out into the irresistible future with Him... Never let the sense of failure corrupt your next action. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, Basically, In short: I'm looking forward to Sunday, Ethan has made me a success,
The Lord is amazing me perpetually by showing His everlasting mercy and grace in giving chance after chance, and forgiving mistake after mistake without ever growing weary of my pathetic attempts at usefulness. Ah, but here we are...we are of no use, but we can be used. Our own efforts, our own attempts, our own strength is of no use, but He can use HIS strength and power THROUGH us to make us an instrument that IS of use.

Abandon to Christ. Another Chambers concept of the week. Full surrender of all we are and all we posses, and a heart that is so in tune to the Love of God that everything we do is an outpouring of that Love. Full abandonment to Him...what an aspiration!! Yet, strangely enough, it cannot be accomplished through work...but through rest. Through feasting on His word, and drinking endlessly of His presence, and singing His praise, and living free of the cares and chains of the world in sin. Choosing life over death, and love over selfishness...it's rest and delight in it's fullest form...So why do we not? Because the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. Because the deceiver is perpetually whispering and accusing. Wrapping us in our own desperate sinful past, and tearing us from the perfect love and peace that is already ours.

So the work is not in drawing near to Christ, but in deadening our ears to the words of Death, and blinding our eyes to the gaudy filth of the world that begs to be tested. The work is in pouring MORE of Christ and LESS of the world into the battlefield of our soul.

Yes, Jesus is the truth, the way,
That leads you into rest;
Believe in Him without delay
And you are fully blessed.

Only trust Him, only trust Him,
Only trust Him now;
He will save you, He will save you,
He will save you now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

And now I'm rambling. Horribly, I'm afraid. Sorry. This post has gotten long.

Just want to add:

The mountains are steep
And the valleys low
Already I'm weary
But I have so far to go
Oh, and sorrow holds my hand
And suffering sings me songs
But when I close my eyes
I know to whom I belong
Who makes me strong

I will be free
I will be free to run the mountains
I will be free
Free to drink from the living fountain
Oh, I'll never turn back
'Cause He waits for me
Oh, I will be free

A wise man, a rich man
In pauper's clothes
A shepherd to lead us
Through the land of woes
Though many battles I have lost
So many rivers yet to cross
But when my eyes behold the Son
Who bore my loss, who paid the cost

I will be free
I will be free to run the mountains
I will be free
Free to drink from the living fountain
Oh, I'll never turn back
'Cause He waits for me
Oh, I will be free

Oh, and I'll dance on silver moonlight
And I'll walk through velvet fields
Oh, and I'll run into the arms
The arms that set me free

I will be free
I will be free to run the mountains
I will be free
Free to drink from the living fountain
Oh, I'll never turn back
'Cause He waits....
I'll never turn back
Don't you ever turn back
Because someday, someday we're gonna see
We will be free ~Cindy Morgan


Blessings on each and everyone of you. May you rest in the Lord, moment by moment.

~Joanna

Time is a jet plane, it moves too fast
Oh, but what a shame if all we've shared can't last.
I can change, I swear, oh, oh,
See what you can do.
I can make it through,
You can make it too.

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I dont know the reason why you brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I will go through the valley
If You want me to

Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my own
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

Now I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise
You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
I will go through the fire
If You want me to

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley
If You want me to
~Ginny Owens

Ask me why I'm blogging...

But there are so many non-answers you probably won't ever know for sure.

Mom is back. :-) I mean, she's been here, but she's off quarantine. So she's not just home, she's home. It's awesome. the kids have all been taking turns with Ethan, and climbing all over her, and etc. It's great.

Abigail Miller's presence has been reborn this week. I never get the cd out, but a new baby means that we have to have hear "The Miracle You Are" and that means that the whole Closer To Jesus album gets played over and over...except "A Soldier Brave and Strong." That one was cute the first time....

Honestly, She's not my favorite, but a couple of her songs just have really beautiful lyrics.

If you are weary and heavy within,
Trampled by pain, Bruised by your sin,
He will not leave you or cast you away.
He turns the midnight to glorious day.
He'll exchange ashes for beauty again,
He'll replace sorrow with joy in His name!
He will not leave you alone..,

Yesterday at orchestra I ended up sitting in a back room with 6 little girls playing dolls for almost an hour. Listening to them talk was one of the funniest things that has happened to me in a long time. They were all between 6 and 9 years old, and all so stinking knowledgeable. I mean, you would think that the United Nations had convened from the amount of stuff these girlies knew. lol. Funny thing is, thinking back, I knew at least as much as they do... LOL. Thinking about the conversations I had with my friends, and the things we discussed, and the ideas we had.... little girls are just hysterical.

Micah has somehow accumulated a pretty decent Lego collection. It's possible that it came from the fact that he didn't want anything else for birthdays or Christmas for about five years straight...and that he's a zealot about keeping them safe.... He gets them out every now and then and sits with the kids while they play with them. He got them out this morning, and the kids have been quietly absorbed for almost three hours. Pretty soon they're gonna get hungry...

We've decided that Micah needs to write and publish an Text Book 42. or 88. Whichever he likes better. Just random facts. Every chapter would be a lesson on the basics of something entirely random. Like January 27th in the South of France in the year of 1536. Or The life-cycle of a North African dung beetle. Or the differences between a BMW Z-4 and a Chevy Silverado. It would contain more useless, but interesting information than any of other text book ever published. Why Micah? Because he's a walking encyclopedia that likes to read dictionaries. (no joke...about the dictionaries) If you don't know, ask Micah. If it doesn't matter, ask Micah. If you're bored, ask Micah.

I'm gonna get off before I bore you all to death. I have a lot to do today, and though I'm becoming an expert at not getting a lot done I probably ought to try to accomplish a little. So, ttyl. :-)

~Joanna

You are my hiding place
You fill my broken heart with songs
Songs of deliverance
You sing of how the weak are strong
And I believe you
For you've saved me from my darkness and my shame
And I believe you
For I hear your song of beauty through the pain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

Jimmy Jimmy, to the rescue Jimmy...

Summer Fresh is selling out their pre-viewed VHS's. I picked up a couple for the kids this afternoon. Got a tape of Jimmy Neutron episodes...That's quality entertainment. The kids have been giggling for the past 40 minutes, as Jimmy has installed nano-chips into his pants so they will put themselves away, drained his brains and turned into a three year old, and tried to sell more candy than the cutest girl in school by inventing a robotic sales-man.

I also got a Veggie Tales for them. Of course, the beautiful and Christ centered lesson on trusting in the Lord no matter what your situation is, through a representation of the story of Esther, is now being sapped away by the mindless jumble of ridiculous situations of a fictional boy with a massive head and insanely tall hair do...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Summer Fresh was also running a sale on cream cheese. So, I made peanut butter cream cheese brownies. They aren't done yet. I kinda made up the recipe. I'm a little scared about the results...

The really cool thing is that because they contain sugar and peanut butter they will be consumed. That's one of the minor benefits of having little siblings. They would eat charcoal if I sprinkled sugar on it...

Jimmy Neutron just invented a "brobot." A mini robot programed to be the perfect little brother. He got sick of him. built him a Mombot and Dadbot and sent them to the moon.

His brobot ate bolts. without the sugar....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ice is *really* beautiful. It isn't nearly as destructive as it was last year, so it's a lot more enjoyable. Last year we had an awful lot of fun during the storm. It was punctuated by trying to clean without running water, and cook without a stove, but it was fun. The lantern-light evenings were especially delightful. I got a lot of cross-stitching done... come to think of it, that's the last time I've had my stitching out. I think I ended up disassembling the kit...Shows you how devoted I was to it, huh?

I like to cross stitch. But it's like a lot of other things I like to do...I'd rather play piano. lol.

Speaking of piano, I've started lessons. They're awesome. I wasn't so sure at the start, but I'm really loving them. My teacher is very sweet, and super encouraging. I do have to do finger exercises with a metronome, and I do have to slow down my Mozart, but that's a...well...not so small, but worthwhile price to pay for getting good. heehee. I knew that at some point I was gonna have to bite the bullet and get out the Hannon, I'm just glad that I'm doing it with enough coaching that it will profit me.

The two Steinways in her studio also add to the fun.. Though they make it stinking hard to pay attention to the teacher more than the instrument...

I wouldn't have believed it...in fact, I never did believe it that there was THAT much difference between any other high quality piano and a Steinway, but there is. Sungsil said she's gonna give me wings... I think a Steinway could probably give anyone wings...

uh-huh. I'm in love.

----------------------------------------------------

I have to go now. I could probably come up with a lot more things to talk about, some with more meaning, some without any, and some just for the sake of talking...

But I really have to go.

'Sides, the brownies are done.

bubye!
~Joanna

He took my life into his hands and it turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance
It's there I've finally found

That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me
Oh Thank You for my chance to start again

Life moves on...but it will never be the same.
Welcome to the planet...


Ethan has won our hearts. :-) The poor children want to get their hands on him *so* bad, but he's quarantined with the Mommy in her room, so they stand in her doorway and ooh and ahhh over him from a distance.

I think overall the family is on the mend. Benjamin and Jerusha are both improved pretty dramatically over yesterday afternoon, though Leah seems to be getting worse...But overall, there seems to be improvement. I'm *so* glad I'm healthy enough that I've been able to keep a semi-good grip on the house...it deteriorates at an amazing rate with Mommy off limits and Rachel and Daniel down and out. :-P

The meals and groceries that our friends have been flooding us with have been a massive blessing. Cooking and baking have been minimized for the week, giving more time for sitting around with fussy children on your lap... So maybe I'd rather be in the kitchen, but the kids sure appreciate it.


~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~()~

Welcome to existence...

Everybody's here, and everybody's watching...

***************************************


I've had the wonderful oppourtunity the last couple of weeks of catching up with an old friend. I met Lauren at an ATI conference in Knoxville, TN in 2003. We were in the same "squad" of little girls in the COMMIT program. We were the 13-15 set... I thought I was quite grown up... But anyway, we met there, and didn't hear from each other again until a couple months ago when I found a team member list in a box of old scraps. Find a list of names, what do you do? DUH, you search for them on Facebook. lol. So, I found Lauren, and thank the Lord I did so. It's been delightful to "rediscover" her, and communicate again. She's a dear girl, and her love for the Lord simply radiates from her. I'm always super grateful to the Lord when He throws people like her into my life. :-)

She sent me the lyrics to a couple of songs (shock and amazement, a girl Joanna likes that enjoys sharing song lyrics? Who would'a guessed?) that I really loved. I still haven't been able to look up this actual song, because our internet is shockingly moody this afternoon, but here are the lyrics to one I thought particularly adorable:

I remember all the times
the good times and the bad
I'm still holding on to you
some days I wanna run
and times I come undone
but I still belong to you
thats how I know that

when I feel like caving in
my heart my soul is wearing thin
I just want to give up
nothing seems at all to add up
can you hear me Lord?
my face is down upon the floor
its then you whisper in my ear
be still and know I'm here


I see a side of you my friend
the same struggles that I have
my heart goes out to you
I know its hard to feel alone
and this world's so unforgiving
I've been feeling that way too
but I can tell you

Is that you?
Is this me
It's sometimes hard to believe that
I am not alone

its not just you
and not just me
we all need to believe that
we are not alone

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Church this morning was really odd... Josh led songs, Tyana was pianist, Aaron, Nate and I bowed out of playing strings (Aaron because he didn't have his violin with him, Me because I was dead tired, and Nate because that would mean he was the only one playing...) And weirdest of all, Dad wasn't there. Dad's *always* at church...

Also weird was how lopsided the seating was. SIX people on our side of the church: Me, Aaron, Nate, J.B, Mr. Drewry, and Ms. Laura....

And the other side was packed out. lol. It was *so* funny looking, and almost lonely...

but on the other hand, I could see pretty much everyone in the building without looking behind me. that was also an odd feeling....

First verse read caught my attention and held it: Let not your heart be troubled, ye believe in Go, believe in me.... (then, moving on)...And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you the Comforter, that He may abide with you forever.... Peace I leave with you, my Peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid..... Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends.....

and etc. I *love* John 14-17....every single time.

====================================


I'm being called. The world is crumbling...

farewell lovelies!!

~Joanna Renae

If you could walk the hallways of my heart
And see things as they really are
I wonder if you might be surprised
Seeing faded walls of pride and fear
Rooms I've filled with faithless tears
And corners where I've stood in compromise
But you'd see the work His grace has done
You'd know just how far I've come
And that the only thing that's good in me is Jesus

Ethan Jeremiah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant.

I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ’s name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other darlings have left me.


Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother’s heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh how rich I am, how truly, how wonderfully blest! ~Elizabeth Prentiss

~Ethan Jeremiah Burks~

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

8 lbs 6 oz

20" long

Born at 6:00pm

Mom and baby doing beautifully.






My Jesus, My Savior

Lord there is none like You

All of my days, I want to praise

The wonders of Your mighty love

My Comfort, My Shelter

Tower of refuge and strength

Let every breath, all that I am

Never cease to worship You!



Shout to the Lord, all the earth

Let us sing!!

Power and majesty, praise to the King.

Mountains bow down and the seas will roar

At the sound of Your name

I sing for joy at the work of Your hands

Forever I'll love you, forever I'll stand

Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

Praise Him

All I want to do, is give this life to You
All I want to do, is give this life to You
All I want to do, is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.

How does doubt slip in, so silently?
And why does condemnation come so naturally?
Why do I still get the best of me?
Loving so little and living so selfishly?

When all I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You,
and let Your will be done until it's all I want to do.

What have I been given by Your grace?
Will I come to understand this mystery I am, race?
Making me a new creation now,
Fill me with all you are and be all I am some how.

'Cause all I want to do is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You.
All I want to do is give this life to You
And let Your will be done, until it's all I want to do.

Faith so fragile
Reaching for Your hand

All I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do, is give this life to You.
All I want to do, is give this life to You,
and let your will be done, til it's all I want to do.
And let your will be done, til it's all I want to do.
~Ginny Owens
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mom's going in for an induction at 7:00am tomorrow. That means, Lord willing, that baby Ethan Jeremiah will be born safe and sound some time tomorrow afternoon. Please pray for her, for grace and strength. :-)

Also, pray for us at home. Jason and I are both pretty sick, and we need everyone healthy and the house in order for Mom to come home to. That's not as easy as it sounds, with 9 kids 16 and under for us to control. :-P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm rather wiped out. Haven't been sleeping very well, and I'm really falling behind on my Colossians memorization. I haven't even tried for a couple days. Haven't had the brain power. I need to get back on it. I'll try to spend a good chunk of time on it tomorrow afternoon. I won't be going to church, and won't be trying to round kids up for it, so it should be a pretty relaxed day, all things considered.

To those of you who are working on it with me; I'm sorry. Hold me accountable, k? Jump into the group and yell on me on the wall or something... heee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Got to read a "new" Agatha Chistie book this week. It was delightful. It took about half the book for me to figure out what was "different" about it. Then it hit me: It wasn't Poirot, OR Ms. Marple. Nope. It was a darling little english couple; one a soldier that got discharged after being wounded, and the other a nurse that lost her job. It was one of the best reads I've had in a long time.

But then, when are Mrs. Christie's books NOT good reads?

She was a genius, really. I don't care for her later works...once she hit the 60's the culture started slipping downhill, and with it the content of her mysteries.

But I still love her.

Tuesday Night Murder Club is probably my all time favorite, though The Secret Adversary (which I just finished) came pretty close to competing. Good stuff.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not getting anywhere, and I promised Mom I'd try to get a good night's sleep. three days of babysitting needs a fully charged battery at the beginning or it just doesn't happen. :-P

So, goodnight. :-)

~Joanna

I was late for class, I locked my bike to yours
It wasn't hard to find, you painted flowers on it
I guess that I was afraid that if you rolled away,
You might not roll back my direction real soon